embora...

I bought my bus ticket to Sao Paulo today. I had been putting it off for a few days because I don't really want to think about leaving. I've really connected with everyone here. People from the office, and the family. I feel like I've just gotten to the point where you really get to know people. Past the daily personality things you perceive over time to the deeper, things about their pasts you could only know if they told you, confided in you. To that point where you trust each other with anything, where you are completely comfortable- where you can joke about everything, where I understand their jokes in Portuguese, and then make my own. I'm finally there, and now I'm leaving in 5 days.

I know Christmas here would be wonderful, but I also want to get out there and see more of Brazil. I'm actually torn over travelling and I never thought that could happen. Seeing Kevin (my uncle´s good friend from college who works for GM in Sao Paolo) will be great, I know I will have a great Christmas with him and his parents too. Everyone keeps telling me that Búzios is gorgeous, and I can´t wait to see for myself. Reveillon 2009 will be in Copacabana beach in Rio de Janeiro with other IAESTE students. Cannn't wait!

Yesterday I dreamt I was in my parents house- took me a second to figure out where I was once I woke up. I think its my subconscious confirming that I do miss them, even if I don't want to think about it. Homesickness is a terrible, humbling thing, sort of like nostalgia- it takes away from living in the now, and now I am in the best place I can possibly be. I want to remember all the impressions and perceptions that I'm getting here and now in Brazil, not from missing friends and family from the states. At the same time, its good to realize how much you take for granted while abroad. Even though things are worse than they´ve been in years, I still think that I´m privaleged to live in the good old US of A and I want to come back. Especially now, I think with Obama, as a country we are finally moving in the right direction and I'm excited to see what happens- to be part of it.